Ok. I know.. I didn't do so well at this blog thing. It was a good idea when I came up with it, but the follow through was terrible. Yikes! Not a good way to enter Adulthood! Now, here I am, facing the last 30 days before I turn 40. So I figured if there was a good time to post, this would be it.
I had good intentions. There were countless times that I wanted to post something. On the 6th of every month I remembered that I was supposed to do it, but for various reasons, I never got around to it. Even when I missed posting, I promised myself I would do it the next day or later in the week or whenever, just post for goodness sake! But it never happened.
I blamed it on a lot of things and I like to believe they weren't all excuses. :-) Some were legitimate reasons. Staying at home with 2 boys is far more taxing than meets the eye. The only real time I have to post is when they are napping or have gone to bed for the evening. And then, I'll be honest, there were several more important things that took precedent over blogging about my journey to 40. Life was happening and I didn't have time or make time to record it like I wanted to do originally.
For a moment, I was little sad as well or as the saying goes "into my feelings". I originally sent out this blog to many people who I consider dear friends. I had asked for accountability to make sure I stay on track. Needless to say, the 6th of every month came and went and I never heard from anyone. Every blue moon, I would get an inquiry about the blog. I believe it was either in May or June, I had a couple of people ask me if I was still doing it. Still, it wasn't enough to push me to post because quite frankly it didn't seem like anyone cared. I started to think that when I blog, if no one is reading or cares, I am sharing my journey with me and I'm living it! So what's the point? I could do this in a journal if I am the only one who'll read it. LOL Nevertheless, there are a couple of folks out there wondering what's happening, so I thought I'd go ahead and oblige them :-)
But I needed to finish this activity. Originally I wanted to do something different that I'd never done on or around the 6th of every month up to my birthday. I also thought I would chronicle the things that I learned about myself and about turning 40 along the way. So far, the doing something different part has happened but not according to the schedule. But my goodness, I have learned a TON about myself and about turning 40 in the process.
I'll let you in on one thing I've learned and then I will be out of here for the night (I've already posted on time, I don't want to overdo it. :-)) I needed to finish this blog because I learned/realized one of the most important things about myself that I knew but didn't understand in as much clarity as I do today. My 'About to be 40 lesson about Me' - I need/crave STRUCTURE and PLANNING to be a successful ME!
It dawned on me that if I go into something without a full plan - beginning, middle, end and every detail in between - it is that much harder for me to complete the task and many times I find myself not completing it at all. The 'every detail in between' is my big lesson. I started this blog with a great idea. I had a catchy title and the idea that I was going to blog (Beginning). I was to do something special on or around the 6th of every month and blog about it (middle). I'd complete it on my birthday (End). The problem is I had no plan for what I would do from one 6th to the next. Not realizing it, I has set my own self up for failure. I was doomed from the start, but I didn't really realize this until later on. It would have been way more exciting to blog about what I'd planned and executed for that month if I had something to actually DO the 6th of that month. (that's probably why no one read it.. HAHA) It's that way with many things in my life. For example, I need a meal plan or else it's hard for me to come up with meal choices daily. But not only do I need a meal plan but I need a grocery list for that plan and and the list should be in order according to the meal for it to really work for me - every detail in between.
As crazy as it is, wrapped inside of this lesson is that fact that life doesn't always present you a neat little box of all of the details. Sometimes you have to wing it and make it up as you go along. Sometimes you have children and they go left when you need/want them to go right. Sometimes... it is what it is. So I needed to finish the blog because I can't always just quit when I don't have all the pieces even when I created the puzzle.
So in all of my getting, I got a clearer understanding of me. I am SO thankful for the lesson. I understand better how I am shaped, what I need to survive and how even that can be thrown out the window and I just have to roll with it. But when I can control it, and put all of the pieces in place including every little detail, I know that I have set myself up for success.
Hmph- lookey here - I think I am getting close to graduating from my 30's, Yall!!... Look out 40, Here I come!!
Until the big day! :-)
Marcia
No comments:
Post a Comment